{"id":351,"date":"2014-09-02T11:05:40","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T11:05:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/?p=351"},"modified":"2014-09-02T11:05:40","modified_gmt":"2014-09-02T11:05:40","slug":"ive-loved-these-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/2014\/09\/02\/ive-loved-these-days\/","title":{"rendered":"I’ve loved these days"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Billy<\/a>School begins today, and when we arrived back from vacation on Sunday late afternoon, instead of making voluminous action item lists in my remaining 36 hours, I allowed myself the supreme decadence, or so it seems, of enjoying wonderfully lazy\u00a0family time around the pool,\u00a0the TV and with our daughter.\u00a0\u00a0 Such supreme decadence\u00a0– just being, and enjoying. \u00a0The words of a Billy Joel song have swirled around my mind all weekend as I savored all that is wonderful about family, my kids and summer.<\/p>\n

“So, before we end, and then begin,
\nLet’s drink a toast to how it’s been
\nA few more hours to be complete
\nA few more nights on satin sheets
\nA few more times that I can say
\nI’ve loved these days.”<\/p>\n

It was a fabulous summer and while I always castigate myself over not curing autism,
\nnot trying or doing one more thing to build the boys skills, etc. – I am right now savoring my love\u00a0of being a parent as I watch that life role subside and new paths open for me.\u00a0\u00a0 Yesterday saw us visiting the daughter’s new apartment where we’ll be helping her move in a few more days.\u00a0\u00a0 In a stroke of great karma, she’s going to be living across from a wonderful yoga studio I’ve visited before, so I took that as a good sign.\u00a0\u00a0I watch my active parenting years draw to a close and simultaneously wonder\u00a0 however\u00a0did I ever get this old, and whatever will I do with myself as time unfolds and I can capture new opportunities as I see my friends doing – even those with autism in their midst.<\/p>\n

Everyone says they love being a parent, but for me, it’s bone-deep and both a self-definition and a salvation.\u00a0 Parenting turned me from a rather haughty corporate type and rounded the edges of who I am.\u00a0 As\u00a0I walked through our daughter’s\u00a0city-vibe world I savored how\u00a0 I’ve so loved these days\u00a0 of being a mom, her mom in particular.\u00a0 I felt myself\u00a0looking over my\u00a0shoulder to see\u00a0someone who just a few short years ago\u00a0was once a squealing baby-ball of pinkness in my arm,, now amazingly\u00a0a beautiful functioning adult.
\nI hope I can say the same about the boys when I let go and see them accomplish something fine without me.\u00a0\u00a0 As we played Uno together with the boys one night\u00a0vacation and I watched Will remember a few skills like how to deal and count out 7 cards, how to match cards, etc – I felt the same;\u00a0 that pride in bringing a life into the world and hopefully making it better by doing so.<\/p>\n

Goodbye summer.\u00a0\u00a0 Although this week’s hot weather will remind me you’re not far gone,
\nand thank heaven for the backyard pool on 90 degree days for J., it’s time to turn the page to school things and our life’s work, whatever that is.\u00a0 But when the demands get high and the pressure is on, I can reach into the bag of happy thoughts of\u00a0car trips to get fried clams, to walk the shore,\u00a0 to\u00a0revel in\u00a0small towns and their quietude, to soak in vistas\u00a0I’ve longed to know, and to see new paths.\u00a0 Most importantly, I can remember the feeling, not just the experience, of opening myself up to moments\u00a0where simple people whose\u00a0grace gave me some of my own –\u00a0all colored in the glow of warm summer light, and be transported to wherever new and exciting I’m meant to go.<\/p>\n

I’ve loved these days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

School begins today, and when we arrived back from vacation on Sunday late afternoon, instead of making voluminous action item lists in my remaining 36 hours, I allowed myself the supreme decadence, or so it seems, of enjoying wonderfully lazy\u00a0family time around the pool,\u00a0the TV and with our daughter.\u00a0\u00a0 Such supreme decadence\u00a0– just being, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=351"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/351\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinmommeetsautism.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}