Even in our pandemic’s uncertainty, we parents have an edge.

A blazing sunrise like this might be a coincidence, or if you’re like me, you might see it as a sign. That there is still beauty in a corona virus pandemic. That there are still surprises, and plenty. That none of present insanity makes sense, and yet the outpouring of spontaneous goodness affirms the goodness in humanity, and will change us all.

Can you can tell I just scored a four pack of toilet paper?

Perhaps if you’re a parent of a special needs child like me, you feel it too. That random epiphany that the journey we’ve been on for years has prepared us for this moment.

I realized as I veered the car away from my usual path, and indulged myself with the long way home, hoping the twin wonderboys were sleeping – that I am ready, even capable, of managing work, kids, an unwell husband, and a lack of respite help for when my sons dash in front of cars or claw fistfulls of my homemade bread loaves while I’m in the bathroom.

As parents of kids on the spectrum we’ll all endured everyday moments of hell. Umpteen repetitions, ABA interventions, failures and getting-ups again that each of us endure in parenting a kiddo with autism uniquely prepared me, and you too, for this moment. In my case it was the fecal smearing years. The taking a bite of someone else’s cheese sandwich while walking across the restaurant to be seated years. The four toilet accidents in an hour years.

We were handed a crappy lot, and figured a way forward, at whatever measured a pace. We found amazing helpers and friends. We made the sweetest lemonade from lemons that many thought were losers.

Now, in this insane moment of time, we have well-honed skills that give us what we need to thrive – skills others may not have yet. I’m grateful for five teachings that my sons gave me, as I was trying to teach them – teachings that during sunrises and smiles, I know I have – and will carry all of us through.

1. Resilience. Much as we embrace more rigid structures than parents of typical kids, we also learned to watch for curveballs, duck and run at times, but how to find a clear path, and change so we navigate a clearer path.
2. Repetition. Mind-numbing, screamingly boring, I can’t stand it any more practice of the most minute skill until you think your skull will pop. Because who knows if 149,000 trials of watching your child struggle to tie his shoes, were what allowed him to win on trial # 149,001.
3. Seeing the win. We claim success in the most laughable places. We see the veins on the leaves of the trees in the forest, and celebrate each one as if it were the only.
4. Humility. My house is cluttered, I hate dusting and COVID-19 cleaning makes me crabby. I’ve tried a ton of dumb ideas in the name of growth and when I’m tired I’m a massive PITA. But per #1 above, like fellow special parents, I get back up and at it.
5. Love that conquers. Despite their many challenges, my guys (and my neurotypical, other type of exceptional gal) know I love them. I see it in their eyes – in the times they do what I know they hate because I asked them – in random smiles over something I never knew made them happy. Love may not be enough to neutralize the corona virus in a test tube, but in the laboratory of life – it’s all we need.