CVT Day 75 – It’s Hard

Some days you knock it out of the ballpark, or so it feels. They smile, I smile, the sun shines, we do semi-normal activities, I accomplish some work objectives, cook a fabulous meal, keep their underwear clean. Others you swim in a sea of demands, looking at a slurpy green pool that’s supposed to cool your kiddos today, and wonder when the work will pay off. When the algae of unfinished cleaning is finally balance, calm cool blueness.

Today’s Day 4 since pool opening and by now it “should” be chemically balanced. With a forecast in the mid-80’s and high humidity both guys are looking longingly toward it, even Will who two years ago barely dipped a toe into the waters. I have zero right to complain as 95% of the cleanup work has been done by the hubby, save a little brooming and furniture cleaning on my part, and kid tending while he could do the heavy cleanup.

When’s it going to end – the perpetual repetition, working and working on a goal til it’s accomplished? Jeff’s quelling his self-talk long enough to listen to a speaker and respond, especially on Zoom calls when the laptop is the intermediary. Will’s underwear tolerance, or his increased oral needs that have taken off during the pandemic.

Tiptoeing into his room early today to retrieve his favorite shorts for a quick-cycle wash, I noted Will chewing his comforter. Whether he’s chewing his plastic drinking cup or his shirt, the pandemic has heightened his oral needs, sadly. Jeff’s misbehavior seems to be the hands to the pants which I also hate and gets really annoying especially when in highly inappropriate settings.

Coronavirus, I hate you. I hate the extra four pounds you gave my midsection, the schedule disruption, juggling provider schedules as well as my own, rarely if ever having a blissful block of time from which to accomplish anything. I had it all down or so it seemed before you. I want my life back. I want my sons’ equilibrium restored. I want soothing turquoise-blue to lap my toes as I float, as the boys splash and smile, and use their words to say it’s OK Mom. We’re going to make it.