Promised myself I’d blog today so here’s the world’s shortest post. The hubby’s away this weekend and while that means more work, and the need to allow more time for the usual routine, it’s also allowed me to focus on the boys.
I love my kids – all of them, even with their issues. Yeah doing both showers, keeping an eye on both simultaneously to guard against their bad behaviors takes more focus. Yet focus is a clarifying thing. It cuts to the chase, and lets go of all that is extraneous so what’s left has meaning.
Love. My guys are genuinely sweet to the core, and despite W’s issues – despite J’s tendency to croon the same invented Mommy song at the top of his lungs for three hours, they are a joy. When I ask “Who wants to help Mom trim green beans?” – they both coming running. When I ask “who wants to open cans for Mom so we can make dinner?” – J peels off his favorite La-Z-Boy to dart to my side even when it’s his brother that I called. When I asked “Who wants to vacuum before the car trip?” the “I do” chorus made me smile.
We’re inexplicably bonded, my guys and me. They’re genuinely trying to do what I ask, and correspondingly I’m trying to coach them to greater capability while respecting their uniqueness. It’s fluidity that’s great for us both. It’s easy to want to change your autistic kiddos, and certainly their deficits promote a greater focus on “what’s wrong.” As this week brought tremendous achievement for the typically developing sister, I also had to avoid sadness over what isn’t meant to be. No my boys are not at college and readying for a launch into the work world. Hell they’re not even reading although J. correctly counted the number of forks needed for dinner last night, and independently opened a can of tomatoes – uplifting me that all this daily practice really does work.
But each day, we both grow through love. My boys, and me.
With T-minus 23 minutes to do three showers and get to church, the tubs aren’t going to get scrubbed today. And don’t tell anyone but my own personal hygiene my get a little crimped. But we’ll be freshly bearers of joy where ever we go today. And that’s a gift.
So go away more often, hubby 🙂 – because the clarify on what really matters to me will carry me through gray skies, today and always.